Sunday Tales –Growing Wiser — 21

Ravi Raghesh looked up at his family, assembled on this fine December afternoon, as they munched the special meal prepared by his wife Priya. He should have been the happiest man at this moment as this was the first meal together with his two successful sons with their beloved wives visiting them after almost two years. But he was in a real melancholic mood, even though he depicted a pleasant disposition.

Ravi, even at sixty three looked pretty young for his age; his wife two year junior, looked as radiant as ever, absolutely enjoying the company of her family. She had excellent bond with her two boys and surprisingly had a lovely comradery with her two daughters in law who treated her more as a friend sharing their day to day wins and losses. Ravi was always the outsider looking at things, but he had to admit that both the boys and their respective spouses simply adored and respected him. Honestly one cannot ask for more than this in this insanely hyper communicative world of today.

After highly energized fun filled lunch, the family scattered to their respective rooms for the afternoon siesta. Ravi was in his room updating photos & videos of the afternoon in his Instagram, so all his social media feeds get updated in walked a slightly tired but happy camper- Priya his wife.

Priya: “Rags why this forced laughter and pretention you should be happy” as she tussled his silver hair.

(Rags was the pet name given by Priya)

Ravi: “no dear, see I have just updated all photos, open your FB feed –you look the best my dear girl.”

Priya: “Rags, don’t try to change the topic, I know you too well. You need to enjoy these occasions. Please do not become a sullen Oldman, upset with no reason” with a highly exasperated tone.

Ravi pushed his chair back and in an attempt to pacify her, tried to pull his wife onto his lap, but Priya was quick to move away & as she sat in the bed shaking her head.

In a few seconds their elder daughter in law Reshmi, the Mumbai educated friendly lass walked in. “Mom can we go to Mantri mall in the evening” as she sat beside Priya in the bed

“Definitely why not” Priya concurred taking Reshmi’s hand.

Ravi immediately interjected, “you all go, I have a small get together with a few friends , also you know I really don’t enjoy the shopping part one bit” .

Even before Reshmi could protest –Priya in a sharp typical wifey tone asked “ what party Ravi”

Ravi: “Priya, you know I have to be with Nitin today, it’s his wedding day, Mahesh and I have planned a surprise party to lift his mood.”

Priya grudgingly agreed and told Reshmi “beta we will go, Ravi needs to be with his close friend who lost his wife 6 months back”.

In the evening Ravi and Nitin were in Mahesh’s spacious house, nursing their Jack Daniels in hand, pleased as a punch.

After two rounds Ravi started explaining his inner turmoil, “guys I felt little forlorn in the afternoon, I should have been the happiest dad with my two sons at home with their spouses, but I don’t know why I felt so”

Mahesh : “Ravi are you mad, you have a lovely family both your sons well settled in US , their wives too in great career path & my god you have such an understanding wife –Nitin what we should do with this guy?”.

Nitin: “Arre Mahe, he is opening his feelings to us, don’t berate him. Ravi, why are you feeling like this? Look at me dear, what more do you want?”

Ravi felt a rare kinship, Nitin and Mahesh were his friends for the last 40 years, in fact Mahesh and him did the engineering together.

Ravi: “Is this all worth it? you know after so much sacrifices and hard work both my boys are in great jobs , married to the girls of their choice and are happy, but I am already worried that they will leave us in another three weeks’ time & their next visit may be after two or three years’. What is the use with this success if the children are not around you and truthfully they may need our help only when they have the children of their own?”

Mahesh interjected “Ravi, you cannot have success cutting both ways, all your life you wanted them to be successful and financially independent. And the boys lived up to your expectation. Remember, you had so much pride when they had settled in the US. Now you have to learn to live with this success.

Nitin then chipped in, “Mahesh is partly right. But Ravi, tell me, will you be really happy if the boys are living with you? Definitely not, probably you will be looking forward to your boys, even one of your boys living abroad as this is taken as a symbol of success and pride in our middle class society.”

Nitin then added, “Ravi have you forgotten your own words to me, being happy with oneself , Its time you implement the same logic to your life as well and be happy with small joys happening around you on a daily basis rather than be somber and sad like this” .

“I know both of you have come to lift my spirits but honestly I am happy, when I think about it, I had some wonderful years with my wife and now I have learned to live without her, period. May be somedays I do feel a little unhappy with life, but then I have wonderful friends like you” Nitin told with a big smile.

“Finally Ravi, don’t you think we should give space to our children to lead their life the way they want to live and at our age living with a loving wife is a privilege of very few thank god for that.” As Nitin concluded.

Mahesh then with a hearty laugh said “O god, Ravi see what you have done to Nitin, he is speaking like true philosopher even more like a modern day Spiritual guru. C’mon Ravi pour another one.”

Ravi too felt the honesty in the words as he felt ashamed on his feelings of unnecessary melancholy & mood swings. He knew his friends were right as then he felt the weight getting lifted from his shoulders and his heart liberated — honest to god, he thought he needed this re-assurance.

Well folks, the above story is a real-time happening in every household in India. It is not about living alone without children, as many of you know; living with them is also no bed of roses. Ultimately we need to find a passion or hobby and find happiness in small things we do, finally to concur we are responsible for our own happiness no one else.

Let me end this week with a quote to remember..

“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about future, focus on living in the present”